Why Is the Maid Finding Your Sex Toys?

Possible TMI for family members who read this blog.

In an effort to not go broke in between the end of my student loan money and finding a nine to five office job ideally in my field, I’m working retail.

Specifically, I work in a classy sex store in an upscale neighborhood.  I sell expensive vibrators to the sort of folk who ask me about discrete ways to hide their sex toys from the maid.  It is a boutique, not a warehouse.  The floor is not sticky and we do not sell blow up dolls.  The store is owned by a nurse, all of our toys are body friendly, and most of the clientele are women.  This does not stop the crazies (and thus the stories), but it’s not what most people think of when they think sex stores.

I’m enjoying myself.  There are definitely worse ways to scrape by and I get some pretty hilarious stories out of the deal.  It’s the perfect gig for me because it means my weekdays are free for interviewing at the last minute, which would be more problematic if I was temping in an office environment.  And I’m totally the right sort of person for a job like this.  Just five minutes ago, a woman who had been in earlier with her friends and came back to get something for herself said something along the lines of, “We all felt so comfortable asking you questions! Thank you.”  All in a day’s work, ma’am.  Boldly answering questions in a frank, non-scary manner.  I feel like I should tip a cowboy hat in her direction and ride a dildo off into the sunset.

Customer: So, how’d you end up working here?
Me: I’m here in between graduate school and a 9-5.
Customer: What’s your field?
Me: Immigration policy.
Customer: … Well. Immigrants have sex, too, I guess

I am surprisingly busy for an unemployed hobo.  I don’t know how that happens.  Well, I do.  I’m not one to idly twiddle my thumbs.  I went to a conference on Immigration and Policy here in DC last Monday, and I have another one later this month.  I’m doing a few volunteer things that are all related to immigration, including a blog project with some friends from Sussex, The Migrationist, which will officially kick off later this month.  I apply to as many jobs as I can every day and I’m starting to go through the interview stage of this process.  Fingers crossed.

Recently, there seems to be a rash of people in my life – or facebook followers, as the case often is, who speak admirably of me, based on an impression that I want to save the world.  Or some such nonsense.  I am way too cynical to have any aspirations of world saving.  World domination, maybe.  I’d like to know how I come across this way.  I don’t want to save the world.  I just want to do something.  I just try to do this life thing in a way that maximizes it as much as possible.  Apparently that is unusual.  Or noticeable.  Which I think says more about our society than me.

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